This Blog Needs a Better Title

meMentos

2011-08-27T05:44:00.000-07:00

This is great. This is great because it has the look and feel of a real Mentos commercial from the 90's. There are many scenes from movies on YouTube set to the Mentos music, but this one with clips from Jean Claude Van Damme in Blood Sport just feels like the real thing.

Please watch and I guarantee enjoyment!

What came first: The Douchebag or the White Sunglasses?

2011-08-12T03:48:00.000-07:00

Reader Dominic who hails from the great land of Minnesota reached out recently and asked for a blog post about white sunglasses. I receive many reader submissions, and who would I be if I weren't providing my readers with the information that they need to know, when they need to know it.

Reader Dominic will be happy to know that when Googling the term 'white sunglasses' Google auto-fills the search field with 'white sunglasses douche' or 'white sunglasses gay'.

From my current research the term 'gay' as it is used in this search field, actually means lame. Although, someone on Yahoo! Answers has asked if wearing white sunglasses would in fact make them gay. I have not found any documentation where putting on a pair of white sunglasses has changed any person's sexual orientation, yet. However I cannot verify this, as I do not know every person that has ever worn a pair of white sunglasses.

I found two Facebook pages dedicated to the belief that people who wear white sunglasses are douchebags. One goes so far as to claim that the wearing of white sunglasses will make you an instant douchebag. Again, I have no verification that this will instantly change a male into a douchebag.

Please note: There is great evidence that guys wearing white sunglasses are more likely to wear multiple polo shirts on top of one another with the collars popped.

Lastly, I've found a 'To-Douche List' (to-do list) online. The number one thing recommended is to wear white sunglasses. Please note that in the photo above, the man has pulled off being a douche without an actual pair of sunglasses. This seems to suggest that the douchebag exists prior to the wearing of white sunglasses.

If readers demand that I look further into this I am willing to wear a pair of white sunglasses for one week and gauge the world's reaction.

*I apologize for the excessive use of the term douche, however readers demanded a post on white sunglasses, therefore the use of the term seemed inevitable.

My Three Favorite Scenes from Beverly Hills 90210

2011-08-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

The title pretty much says it all. All three of these videos show the best stunt work ever done in the original Beverly Hills 90210 series. Each short video truly delivers.

I am not one to support violence....but these just sort of make me laugh.

I'm not Biter (spelling error on purpose)

2011-08-03T09:10:00.000-07:00

We are all familiar with Lamebook or Failbook. Sometimes the posts are so far-fetched, that I tend not to believe them. However, after what I witnessed yesterday I believe they must be true.

My friend's mom, Sue, has a Facebook page...everyone's mom seems to have a Facebook page these days. (Alas, I digress.) Anyway, this man that Sue went to grade school with has contacted her via Facebook, and he has written on her wall. From his creepy original post, to his angst-ridden follow-up comment, the man is responsible for what we call 'oversharing'. Please Read:

I've never heard of someone being so bitter 30 years later for being held back in grade school. You would think with two years in second grade might have taught the man to spell better. I hope one day he can catch up to those friends he saw go ahead of him in life.

And learn to spell. That'd be real nice too.

Ask If It's Normal and It Probably Isn't

2011-07-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

Question: Is it normal to be sexually attracted to numbers?

Answer: Numbers was a CBS show that aired for six seasons that no one I know has ever watched an episode of in its entirety. It would be abnormal to be sexually attracted to TV's least celebrated show ever.

Question: Is it normal to be wet all the time?

Answer: Only if you are a sea creature.

UGH: Thinking of blogposts

2011-07-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

I quit writing in my blog all the time because I can't think of any topics to write about. Essentially you can't write anything too controversial when the blog domain has your name in it...

So I ask any of you to send me ideas for a blogpost. Send me a blogpost idea or any questions you have and I'll write about it. Or if you need advice send the question my way!

brianjosephfinlay@gmail.com

That's all I got. So deal with it!

Google Questions

2011-07-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

I'm going to just start answering those Google questions that enter themselves. The question of the day:

Question 1: Is it okay to ask for a sign from God?
Question 2: Is it okay to ask for a raise?

Answer: If you get a raise consider it a sign from God.

And then realize that God can see everything you Google, so if it's not okay to ask for a sign from God, you are too late. One other note, if you are Googling this at work, your boss can see everything too.

ALF ruined my life.

2011-07-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

The last episode of ALF was a cliffhanger. In the episode, ALF's family from the planet Melmac come to pick him up. At the end of the episode ALF was about to board the space ship but then a government agency appears too! The episode ends and it was 'To Be Continued'.

After that the show was canceled and unfortunately we were never told if he made it home, got captured or went back to the Tanners. (ALF Tanners, not Full House Tanners)

As a kid I didn't understand season finales, show cancellations etc. That whole summer I'd watch the next episode of ALF every Monday but it was just a repeat. I didn't know how to find out what happened to ALF. I wondered all summer... I would seriously be going to bed, ALF would come to mind and I'd wonder if he made it home or got captured. I had no idea and I needed closure.

That Fall, the Fresh Prince of Bel Air took ALF's time slot. I didn't know what happened to ALF. All I knew was that Monday's at 7pm CST ALF wasn't around and Will Smith was.

Years later a made for TV movie came on with ALF.

SPOILER ALERT. READ NO FURTHER IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY WATCHING ALF ON DVD

ALF had been with the government since then, but there were no Tanners! This wasn't the ALF I knew and loved. I stopped watching about a half hour into the made for TV movie.

Thanks for ruining my childhood ALF.

Now I'll Never Be a Twenty-Something Model...

2011-07-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

My ambition to be a teen model ended the day before I turned 20 on August 18th, 2001.

As of today, July 24, 2011, I am giving up (one month early) the pursuit to be a 20-something model.

I now have 10 years and 25 days to make it as a 30-something model.

Wish me luck.

Man Oh Man

2011-05-03T04:33:00.000-07:00

Whenever someone comments 'you're the man!' as a means to tell someone they have done something positive, I always tell them they are incorrect: Amanda Bynes star of 'She's the Man' has been pegged as 'the man'.

Alas this generally leads to a long-winded explanation since not many of my friends have seen or heard of this film.

An Open Letter to Warner Brothers Executives Regarding the Firing of Television Star Charlie Sheen

2011-03-07T14:46:00.001-08:00

Dear Warner Brothers Executives,

The world is a sadder place today...Questions that have been on my mind for years may never be answered, now that Charlie Sheen has been fired from Two and a Half Men. For the rest of my life myself and others will wonder:

1. Who was the half-man the title refers to? Was it the Charlie Sheen character with his child-like antics, or the actual child?

2. If the boy on the show had turned 18 would they have changed the show to 'Three Men'?

Please keep the show on the air as I desperately need answers to life's questions.

Sincerely,
A Guy Just Trying To Get Some Answers

Loving It #2: Baby Dancing In a Car Seat

2010-11-25T21:04:00.001-08:00

This video is worth the breaking of the blog silence. This kid is amazing. And I smile every time that I watch this. It's very appropriate that I came across this video on Thanksgiving. If I ever feel unhappy I will just watch this video and I think that will solve everything.

The :30 second and the 1:15 mark are amazing. If you don't smile you have no heart!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Night Thought of Brian Finlay Whilst Suffering from Jetlag at 3am the Evening/Morning Before I Go Back To Work

2010-10-27T01:07:00.000-07:00

Who played a better Brandon Walsh?

Was it Josh Brolin in The Goonies or Jason Priestley in Beverly Hills 90210? This debate has been on everyone's mind for nearly two decades and I still don't think anyone has come to a valid conclusion.

Jason Priestley had ten years to perfect the character of Brandon Walsh, however Josh Brolin probably shot the movie in a few months. I've heard some historians suggest that Jason Priestley had more time in the role and he therefore had more time to develop a much more thorough character.

The character of Brandon Walsh was in high school in both Goonies and Beverly Hills 90210, but please note that Priestley was in his mid-20's while playing the role. Therefore he had some more experience with acting to really delve into the role of Brandon Walsh. Josh Brolin was a teenager at the time though so he was able to use his own personal teen angst at the time. Plus he had Spielberg helping him out on the film. Not that producer Aaron Spelling isn't comparable to Steven Spielberg.

I suppose these reasons listed above are why we can never decide who portayed the Brandon Walsh character better.

Let us thank our lucky stars there is only one Jim and Cindy Walsh, because there is no comparison to the acting skills of James Eckhouse and Carol Potter.

Comcastic-ally Amused

2010-08-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

Did you know we could save a lot of paper in this world if we all started opting toward wireless billing? I find most of my friends no longer even receive the paper statement.

I have chosen to no longer receive bills in the mail when it is an option. However due to my distaste for Comcast and their "customer service" I refuse to receive paperless billing. I would much rather see Comcast foot the bill for postage along with printing materials.

I dislike Comcast because I feel they take advantage of their users charging them at much higher rates than necessary especially when they have the monopoly in certain areas. Though the more I think about it, when I opt to have Comcast send me the paper bill, whatever they are paying to send the bill is just going to end up paid for by me and the rest of the American public.

A big thank you to Comcast for forcing me to hurt the environment even more.

Pet Peeve #20: Happy Birthday on Facebook

2010-08-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

You didn't call.

You didn't send a card.

You didn't text.

You didn't talk to me for the last 10 years.

BUT you did write "Happy Birthday" to me on Facebook.

FRIENDSHIP SAVED.

TO ALL: Please write something more than 'Happy Birthday (insert name)" on people's birthdays. Post a memory of the person or say something fun or even just funny.

And no, I don't say this because my birthday is coming up...but maybe that influenced me a little.

Pet Peeve #19: "They were awesome until they got popular"

2010-08-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: After the extensive popularity of my last blog entry I've been answering fan mail for the last month. Blogs that highlight current popular and topical artists like Vanessa Carlton are always going to delay frequent updates on here. But writing things that resonate with people is what matters to me most, so thank you for dealing with the delays.

So here I come to my actual blog topic for today, people who think this way:

Dude, I hate when a band or artist I really enjoy becomes popular and mainstream? It makes me want to say "they used to be awesome until they got popular"? Once a band is popular even the songs I once liked by them are no longer good.

If I know about a band before anyone else has heard them, then I am inherently cooler. I knew about (insert mainstream group) LONG before you. Now that everyone is listening I hate said mainstream band. Haven't you heard that the more people that know about a band the less cool it is?

God forbid a group actually want to get paid for what they do. And god forbid their greatness be recognized and a lot of people enjoy the music, and they have sold out concerts and get played on the radio. That sucks.

An Open Letter to Vanessa Carlton

2010-07-03T00:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Singer-Songwriter Best Known For Your Hit Single 'A Thousand Miles' aka Vanessa Carlton,

I was thinking about you today because I listened to another song about walking 500 miles and then walking 500 more. Did you know that someone already 'proclaimed' that they would walk 1,000 miles back in 1993, ten years before you.

I think to show you meant it more you should have walked 1,000 miles and then at least one more mile.

Also, your song appears to say that you'd walk a thousand miles in one night to see someone. Well, I just wikipedia'ed you and apparently you ran the New York Marathon in 2005. Apparently you didn't break any records, so this whole walking a thousand miles in one night seems out of the question.

Lastly, I am glad to listen to music that allows me to experience deep thoughts like the ones I listed above.

Sincerely,

A Deep Thinking Person

The Sound and the Furry.

2010-06-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

I learned something new this weekend when I traveled to Pittsburgh. Something I never knew about before this weekend. Apparently CSI had tackled the topic, MTV True Life dedicated an entire episode to it, and even Entourage featured a subplot involving this. Apparently everyone else knows about it and I am just the last to hop on board. I'll start from the beginning.

Thursday night, Brandi informed me about a convention going on in the Pittsburgh area. It was a convention I had never heard of, so I didn't think much of it. That very next day I hopped on a plane to Pittsburgh. I was not thinking about that convention that Brandi had told me about.

I arrived at the hotel at 7:30 pm and see the following at the concierge desk:

If you can't figure out what that is, it is someone in a Harry Potter cloak and the head of the Trix rabbit, more or less. Immediately I was reminded of what Brandi had told me. Yes! I was in the midst of a Furry Convention. This convention is actually called 'Anthrocon: Modern Stone Age Furries'. And wow it was quite interesting. The furries were everywhere.

And almost everyone there was a furry. People you didn't necessarily expect. These people in seemingly normal clothes (debatably normal?) would have tails attached to themselves! Look closely and you'll see even my photo from the elevator where I got a shot of the tail.

I'm going to suspect most of you know what a Furry is but for those that don't...let's just say the hotel rooms are probably not just being used for sleeping that evening. If you still don't know what I mean, go look it up on Wikipedia or something, I am not in the business of explaining things.

You've got to hand it to these folks in full costume though, they're doing what they want...and seem happy about it... at least that's what the expression on their mask would have you think.

Loving It #2 : 5 Specific Seconds of the Little House on the Prairie Opening

2010-06-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

So the other day on Jeff's blog there was a post with Jeannie and the 'Little House On the Prairie' opening. I do not remember a good deal about the show, BUT I do remember the youngest daughter would run down during the opening credits/theme song and hilarity would always ensue. I specifically remember my friend and me at the age of five just watching the opening to the show, just for this very reason.

This is something I could still watch at anytime and I could get a kick out of. Please watch this video from at least :33 second mark to the :43 second mark. I hope you laugh like I do.

I think I find this so funny today, because I imagine the director telling this little girl to just run down the hill, knowing full well that she was going to fall. They stuck her in brush that was taller than her. I do not think there was any chance of that girl making it down the hill without falling. I imagine everyone on the set laughing at that poor girl. Do you think the director saw her fall and thought...'This will be perfect for the opening credits!'?

To this day I imagine her only claim to fame is being the girl that fell in the opening credits of the 'Little House On the Prairie' theme song.

SkyMall Product Of The Week: Quilted Ironing Mat

2010-06-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

When I call out a SkyMall product of the week, I am not necessarily referring to whether or not I actually like the product. I am instead very impressed by the tactics used to sell the product. SkyMall is my favorite thing about flying.

From SkyMall:

This "ironing board" doesn't use an inch of space!

No room for an ironing board? Don't want to drag out the big board just to do a quick press? You'll appreciate how this quilted, heat-resistant pad instantly turns your dryer into an ironing surface! Strong, sewn-in magnets hold it firmly in place without scratching. At 32-1/2" x 19", it's bigger than a standard, narrow ironing board. And this one will never tip over! Use on either side. Roll, fold or hang from a hook.

First of all this WILL take up an inch of space. I'm pretty sure even once you fold it, it will take up some space. Though I suppose one would just leave it on their dryer at all times.

My favorite part of this is when it asks if you "want to drag out the big board" and explains that "this one will never tip". I can just picture this an an infomercial. It suddenly would cut to the shot that is not in full color and shows a person trying to get an ironing board out of a closet and knocking things over and then a shot of someone ironing and the boar tips over. The actor would throw their hands up in the air in complete frustration.

I love those images of struggles that don't exist on infomercials. The Snuggie did an incredible job of this when it showed a woman struggling to grab a remote control from under her blanket.

Lastly let's thank our lucky stars we can hang this "ironing board" from a hook. You know a group of people sat in a board room struggling to come up with things you could do with this product other than...well...iron.

PerezHilton and MileyGate

2010-06-15T11:51:00.000-07:00

According to People.com: Blogger Perez Hilton is facing widespread outrage, and possibly legal trouble, for posting an apparently explicit paparazzi shot of Miley Cyrus taken when the pop star was climbing out of a car. This is of course illegal because Miley Cyrus is only 17 and to post such a photo of a minor is wrong.

Can this please be an excuse to put the guy in jail? Can this also be an excuse to shut down his site?

Perez Hilton is someone I really can't stand. He whines and does not appear to look at any other viewpoints aside from his own. He takes way too much pleasure in constantly putting people down. Yet I am convinced some celebrities must pay him off too, as a select few celebrities he makes out to be saints. For many others he just construes anything they do in a negative light. He isn't funny, his reasoning is poor on most subjects, and his writing skills are on par with this blog.

This is the guy who asked Carrie Prejean the gay marriage question at the Miss America Pageant and then trashed her over and over for her response. I may not agree with her response but his way of tearing this woman apart is just poor character in my opinion.

I sometimes go to PerezHilton.com because it is set up decently and since his writing skills are poor, you don't have to read very much. Anyway, I'm not going back on it.

I have decided to boycott the site. As any page view of such a site is just giving him advertising money. I hope anyone reading this would do the same.

Pet Peeve #18: Highlighting

2010-06-14T21:23:00.001-07:00

I was on a plane the other day. I sat right next to a man who was busy studying the Bible. He was busy with his highlighter while he read the Bible. I am sure that he was highlighting the passages that stood out and were significant to him. However, does highlighting mean ANYTHING when you highlight the entire page, save a few lines?

When the man was interrupted by the airplane peanuts I captured a picture of his highlighting practices.

Rest assured this entire page was eventually highlighted...

Must people do this? Where is the benefit when you are highlighting EVERYTHING? I always thought the point of highlighting was to call out the especially important items.

I feel like I sat next to countless sorority girls in college that would highlight everything in a textbook. These were typically the same people that had a perfectly organized binder, color coded their notes, and kept a calendar for everything...I was thoroughly annoyed by them and would still be today.

Loving It #1: Airports

2010-06-11T15:20:00.001-07:00

I have some pet peeves I really want to write about. I even jotted them down so I will not forget, but I figure it's Friday, and so much negativity is never a good thing. I might as well start a new series on my blog as well, called 'Loving It'. Which is basically just me posting a reason I am 'Loving It'.

Today's reason is airports. Is it weird that I love the airport? I don't mind getting there early, and when my flight is delayed I don't mind that either. All you have to do when you are there is look at people, read a book, get on your computer, mess around with your iPhone, or grab a snack. For me it is a completely relaxing place.

As a kid my favorite part of the airport was either the planes that were hanging from the wall, which appear to be standard in many airports, or the baggage carousel. The baggage carousel is amazing and to this day I still want to stand on it and surf. But I am getting the feeling this may never get to happen. I also used to wonder where all the luggage was coming from...I really believed there was this long long series of moving pathways that just carried luggage all over the airport. To this day I would like to ride one of those as well.

Pet Peeve #17: Glee-ful Status Updates

2010-06-09T18:47:00.001-07:00

Alright I get it.

I know you watch the show Glee.

I know that every Tuesday you are going to watch Glee again.

I know one month in advance, one week in advance, and one hour prior that you are looking forward to the Glee season premiere.

I know that 2-weeks prior to the Glee season finale you are excited for the season finale but also sad that you only have two episodes left before a hiatus.

I know that you are sad 30 seconds after the season finale airs because you won't get to watch any more Glee until next season.

I know about your post-Glee depression that you encounter mid-summer.

I know that you adored the Madonna episode of Glee.

I know that you were over the moon when the Lady Gaga episode of Glee aired.

I know that when the cast of Glee went on Oprah you talked about it for days.

I know that Sue Sylvester is amazing on Glee.

I know about ALL the YouTube clips of Glee.

I know that I find no glee in your status updates.

I Really Thought Things Had Taken Off!

2010-06-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

The life of a blogger is tough. So much pressure. Day in and day out the constant pressure to write something new and interesting. In the past few months I really started getting some great feedback on my blog. So today I am recapping for you some comments I have received.

Oddly enough they are usually anonymous. But I understand when someone wants to share something very heartfelt that it might make people feel more secure to have some anonymity. Recently posted from anonymous:

"Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!"

That comment was written when I told Tiger Woods I would give him $5 million if he endorsed my blog. That post really resonated with someone out there. Just an update, Tiger still has not contacted me. If he does not answer by 6/9 (that's tomorrow, and note the significance of the date) the offer will be retracted.

The another reader posted the following comment multiple times on multiple blog entries!

"You have to express more your opinion to attract more readers, because just a video or plain text without any personal approach is not that valuable. But it is just form my point of view"

I took this to heart and I'm just glad they keep coming back and giving me the same advice.

But those comments are nothing compared to the comment I received when I blogged about the ABC/WB hit comedy Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Just look:

"末迷 said...

先將一個人的生活過好，才有能力過好兩個人的生活"

Imagine what it feels like to know your blog has gone international and crossed the language barrier. I had no idea someone in China would be so interested in my blog on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Of course I have no clue what they are saying, but this is a sign that I have a real knack for blogging, isnt it?

Now some of friends have suggested this is actually spam. I know it isn't because I understand how Sabrina the Teenage Witch resonates with my fan. But just in case I have adjusted the comment moderation so that people will have to use word verification after entering a comment. i cannot wait to see what my Mandarin-writing friend says next!

Lastly I've decided to only write about Sabrina the Teenage Witch in future entries as that garners the most interest in my blog. Can I borrow season one from someone?

Back By Popular Demand

2010-06-07T13:52:00.001-07:00

After much urging from all of my blog follower (that is not a typo), I have decided to enter back into the world of blogging. I will continue to state pointless observations that have little to no effect on the world or your lives. I will continue to not worry about typos and bad grammar. I will continue to talk about posting things more often than I actually do.

I will also make sure to take long hiati(that must be the plural for hiatus, right) in between blog entries. After all, long breaks in between seasons of both Mad Men and Sopranos did/do wonders for those shows.

Loving it! And check back in tomorrow.

Pet Peeve #16: Sabrina the 20-Something Witch

2009-12-29T21:11:00.000-08:00

Sabrina the Teenage Witch ran for 7 seasons. According to Wikipedia Sabrina finds out she is a witch on her 16th birthday. Which means they were still calling her a teenage witch when she was playing a 23-year old witch.

Shouldn't the show title have been changed to Sabrna the Witch by that point?

I've only seen about one episode of this show, yet these are the things I find myself thinking about late at night...

Pet Peeve #15: Jacks of All Trades (at least for the WB)

2009-12-21T13:27:00.000-08:00

Why did the WB insist on having shows with Jack in the title? There was 'Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane', 'Jack and Jill', and then 'Jack and Bobby'.

I mean did anyone over there consider changing the names of one of these Jack characters?

That is about all I have to say about that...

Pet Peeve #14: A _______ Sandwich. UGH!

2009-12-14T18:33:00.000-08:00

Ok here is a pet peeve that has gotten me for years...and yet I don't think I've ever told a single person until right now.

Say there were two people named Brian in a photo and in between them was a girl named Katie. Everyone would then say "Oh it's a 'Brian Sandwich'". But everyone is wrong!

I've never put turkey in between two pieces of bread and called it a "Bread Sandwich"

I'm so frustrated by this world we live in. Can we get anything right.

McCallister's House

2009-12-06T17:15:00.000-08:00

Alright I have decided I am going to go to Winnetka within the week to see the Home Alone House in the flesh. Winnetka is right on the outskirts of Chicago, I believe. I mean what is more Christmassy than that movie?

I will deliver a report on the experience. And by report I mean a picture along with a sentence stating I was there.

If you fell asleep reading this, I do not blame you!

Tiger Woods and Ashley Madison

2009-12-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

Did you hear AshleyMadison.com offered Tiger Woods $5 million to endorse their site. Before now I had not heard of AshleyMadison.com. Essentially, it looks like a Match.com for people that want to cheat on their spouses.

First off, I don't believe that site has $5 million...

Secondly, after seeing all the buzz the site has received I am offering Tiger Woods $5 million as well to endorse brianfinlay.blogspot.com

Let's hope he accepts the offer. It could mean big things for me!

Every TV Show is the same...

2009-11-29T21:54:00.000-08:00

Full House is just another version of Golden Girls...Danny Tanner is Dorothy, Joey is Rose, Jesse is Blanche...and sassy 3 year old Michelle is Sophia.

Was I right?

2009-11-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

Please view my blog from August 21, 2009.

i hate to say I told you so....but.

Pet Peeve #13 Reading Paragraphs At the Beginning or End of a Movie

2009-10-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a movie in the theater and the end of the movie may have a sort of epilogue? Like when it tells you what happened to some of the characters or just some follow-up to the story overall. I'm referring to when there are words you have to read on the screen. Well I sort of hate that.

I get worried I will not read it quick enough so I skim through it. And then since I read it so fast I don't even know what it said. So I try reading it again and the words disappear before I get through it.

Unfortunately if you are in a cinema watching the movie you can't rewind.

So to all people making movies, only have the reading parts for movies that are rentals.

Halloween and What's She thinking

2009-09-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

Gosh, is the pressure to come up with a good Halloween costume already surfacing? It is for me. You have one good Halloween costume and from there people put all this pressure on you to do it again.

My friends know that the best costume I have had in recent years was that of Judy Baar Topinka. In 2006 there was a vicious campaign against her as she ran for governor of Illinois...Thank the lord Blagojevich ended up winning, right?

Just was a hoot though. The commercial were ridiculous and they depicted her as Satan's spawn. Here are two examples:

Wow are those video harsh or what?! But back to Halloween.

Personally, I love Halloween. It is probably one of my favorite holidays. Any party you go to on Halloween and it's like there is an icebreaker set up for you and everyone else. Which makes it the easiest party to host since you know that all of your guests will easily mix and mingle. It is also fun when you are out at the bars and you see that orphan Annie is going home with the Joker.

Revamped Vamps

2009-09-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

This entry is for those of you that were fans of the original Beverly Hills 90210 and were all excited when the new 90210 started up last year. I understand your disappointment when the show could not live up to its predecessor.

There is however a light at the end of the tunnel. It came to light in the premier episode this past Tuesday. Let me explain.

The problem with most primetime dramas (specifically any show on the CW) these days is they create evil, mean, deceptive characters that have no reason for their choices. The original Beverly Hills 90210 had the characters form friendships that the viewers actually cared about. When it came to the point that Dylan cheated on his longterm girlfriend, Brenda, with her best friend, Kelly, during the summer after junior year it actually mattered. As someone watching you actually cared.

The mistake 90210 2.0 made last year was the first episode had every character backstabbing one another. I know that audiences like to see drama and deception unfold...but they actually need to care when it happens. When characters behave like this from the get-go it makes for an awful show.

A show like this needs to have a core group of friends. The producers must have realized this and so comes the three female characters (Slver, Namoi, and Adrianna) uniting to what seems to be best friends. The show almost had some of the wit and so many of the characteristics of Mean Girls or Heathers that it was quite entertaining.

Now, 90210 producers I realize straying away from the original program is making for a better show, but please keep Jennie Garth on the show while you are at it. Us original viewers prefer a bit of nostalgia.

I believe the questions is..."Who Wore It Best?"

2009-09-08T11:20:00.001-07:00

I traveled to Old Town Ale House this weekend after my friend's show at Second City's Donny's Skybox. Someone was wearing a very similar shirt to me, so we had to ask..."Who wore it best?"

Everyone knows it is a fashion faux pas to wear the same thing as someone else! And on top of that to do at the Old Town Ale House is a cardinal sin.

My competitor's shirt was classier as it was Lacoste while mine was from A&F (that is right, I'm trying to be 20). Actually the shirt is like 5 years old...so I'm trying to be 22 again. So let me know who wore it best. lol

Poll is located at top left of this page.

(95) Minutes of Brats

2009-09-05T21:45:00.000-07:00

I went to see (500) Days of Summer tonight. I actually liked the movie a lot. I haven't seen anything since Harry Potter back in July. It has been out for a few months do I didn't expect the movie to be crowded. But even for a 9:30 showing of the movie a decent amount of people were in the theater.

I've recommended to others than when you wait to see a movie, you don't have to deal with annoying film goers who all go and see a movie on opening weekend. You know the people I mean. Those people that will see anything that Michael Bay creates.

At the start of the previews there were two girls sitting in front of me and my friend Elizabeth. I assume they were 13 years old... When the lights go down for previews their bouncing friend enters and shuffles to her seat, she has some very exciting news to tell them. She is talking in full voice. At first I assume she is just one of those people that comes into movies late and make a lot of noise. This happens in most movies. Some late comers enter a theater and I just assume they are having a full dialogue that goes something like this. "

Late Person #1: Oh this seat is comfy.
Late Person #2: Indeed it is.
Late Person#1: Oh my what are these?
Late Person #2: Those are cupholders. Have you ever seen them?
Late person#1: No, I have never seen them. How do they work?
Late Person #2: If you get a drink you just put your cup in there and it holds it.
Late Person #1: Look I have a drink and it fits!!
Late Person #2: Oh perfect! I didn't expect us to find seats so quickly.
Late Person #1: Look there is a movie going on in front of us.

This babble continues until they are fully adjusted in their seat and realize they might want to be quiet.

There is actually another type of latecomer that bothers me more than these people I just described. It's the people that walk in late but walk up and down the aisle looking for an acceptable seat. In my opinion if you are late then you just may have to deal with a bad seat. Please don't inconvenience others by distracting them or asking them to move once the movie has started.

Back to the 13 year old girls. We will call the latecomer "Bouncy" because she literally bounced in her seat. (I think it's the first time her parents let her out of her cage this week) Bouncy walks in late talking to her friends in full voice. Then she leaves. Then Bouncy returns with three more friends. They walk in and out of the movie repeatedly. Every time we were annoyed enough to move, they would leave the theater. Finally when they were there for a few minutes I shushed them. And then they just started shushing each other as a way to make fun of me. They got the point though and did shut up. Three of the six girls were MIA for the last 45 minutes of the movie. I noticed these three sitting at the back of the movie theater on our way out. They shot us a very evil look as we left. I just smiled at them.

Did I used to be this annoying? I know that I must have been. ugh.

Just a Spoonful of Cinnamon

2009-09-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

A couple years ago I took a writing class that would meet once a week. When the class ended we still met once a week, because we all adored one another and we were still writing stuff. It either came to my friend Jeff or Louie's attention that you cannot actually eat a spoonful of cinnamon. Of course three of us did not believe this was true and Jeff decided to record us indulging in a spoonful of cinnamon.

I must note that since I am not a cook, I did not know there is any sort of difference between the 'cinnamon' that I was tasting and the 'cinnamon sugar' that you put on toast or that is on an Auntie Anne's pretzel. If I had already seen the hundreds of other cinnamon tasting videos on YouTube I probably would never have tried this.

I challenge anybody to try to eat an entire spoonful of cinnamon....

See my results below!

(To everyone from class. I miss you guys! And I also love that Jeannie doesn't even know my last name.)

Confessions of a Simple Mind

2009-09-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

I cannot name a Nickelback song. If I saw a picture or CD cover featuring the band Nickelback I would not know who they are. However, I have only heard people refer to the band when they are trying to refer to how much they hate this particular band. It is apparently extremely cool to hate on Nickelback. When you want to make fun of someone's music taste just insist that, that person enjoys Nickelback.

My Confession and I do Have One: I worry some day I might hear a Nickelback song and actually like it. Then what do I do?

Pet Peeve #12: Baldness Myths

2009-09-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I spoke on pet peeves but this one really gets to me. People say that you get your baldness gene from your mother's father, and only your mother's father. This is absurd. All genes come from both parents. It seems to be a crapshoot which ones you get...Why would it only come from your mom's dad?

Who came up with this? I've watched a Dateline episode on baldness and Matt Lauer interviewed a doctor and they clarified this is one of the myths of baldness.

Another myth is that wearing a hat will make you bald. I know this is one that my parents probably just made up because they hated me wearing a baseball hat all the time when I was a kid. I wear a hat much of the time and I'm not losing my hair.

I just really want to get the word out there that these myths are in fact not true. And also since my grandpa was bald and I wear a hat these things really need to NOT be true.

See You Around

2009-09-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

Ever ended a relationship/friendship that meant a lot to you?

Last night I was listening to my iPod.on shuffle and this song I love came on. It's called "How Did We Get From Saying I Love You" by Great Big Sea. The first line of the song is "It's a cold day for September was all I thought to say/When I saw you on the street the other day.". So, since the song mentions September I thought I would bring it up here.

The song is essentially about two people who were once in a relationship and have run into each other randomly. It basically refers to the awkward moment you have seeing that person and how there are about a thousand memories that pop into your head and another thousand questions that you would like to ask them but you really can't.(In some ways social media outlets like Facebook allow people to know way too much abotu exes and such though...so maybe you don't have any questions!)

The song just resonates though, I mean how do you go from once caring about someone so much to not caring at all about them. But it happens. And I wouldn't say it's a matter of not caring but more a matter of realizing things just aren't right between you and that other person. Relationships change and you move on and what you have with one person you will never have that exact same thing with someone else. So you jsut have to appreciate that and accept it is over.

So for anyone who has ever been in a relationship or even had a friendship where you don't talk to the person anymore I urge you to listen to this song. It's beautiful.

Fall into September

2009-09-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at that list I made of 101 things I wanted to do. I never actually finished the list...But I did make a line item that I wanted to create a post every day for one month. So here is September. Let us see if I can do it.

Quick question. Do you find yourself getting nostalgic about the fall? The older I get the more I like autumn. It reminds me of the start of a new school year, which I always thought was awesome. Am I a weirdo? I always loved the first day of school. There were always new school supplies, you met all your new teachers, found out all the book you were going to read in English class. Call me crazy but I always found that exciting. The first week of school is always the week of school that I am most organized...I guess I shouldn't say most organized...it was the only week I was anywhere near organized.

I think the best part of a new school year was you had a totally clean slate. If your grades were no good the year before it wouldn't matter, if your teacher didn't like you, you had new ones. I'm just saying that clean slates are way underrated.

What did you like or hate most about a new school year?

I would like to Pre-Emptively Announce the Cancelation of the Following TV Program

2009-08-21T19:19:00.000-07:00

I've written about the Ted McGinley curse. When he joins any TV program it is generally doomed. See Happy Days.

Ted, your work is done. I would like to introduce you someone who has your role down pat.

May I officially peg the curse of Lindsay Price? You might remember her from the last season of Beverly Hills 90210 when she joined the main cast. You will note that she joined 90210 right at the end of its run. When the show got particularly bad. Seriously, if you can name one memorable plot line from the last season of the show I will give you a dollar.

Price followed this stint on 90210 with the American TV series Coupling. Based off a popular British sitcom the series failed before it made it to November sweeps.

Price then followed this up with the "hit" series Lipstick Jungle. A Sex and the City knock-off. I use the term "hit" in quotes because NBC kept trying to call it a hit in various TV promos. I was not fooled and the series failed quickly.

Now Lindsay Price is starring in the ABC series "The Witches of Eastwick" this fall. I am predicting the series is canceled after November sweeps.

Look Lindsay Price seems fine and all. I have no problem with her. I've only watched one show that she was ever in. And I can't blame her for a show that had already been running ten years. I just want to say her record has not been to great so far. So while I wish you the best Miss (or Mrs?)Price. I suspect you might be the new Ted McGinley.

Wherever you go there you are....

2009-07-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

For about 4 years I was scared to audition for anything. In fact I wouldn't. It's easy to take any sort of audition personally. It just is something you just have to keep working at and trying. Went on an audition yesterday. Didn't end up working out in the long run...But no sense in giving up just yet, right?

I'm over being scared. Sometimmes I'm gonna fail. And I really just like this song.

101 Things to Do Before I'm 30

2009-04-07T03:12:00.000-07:00

Brandi's list sort of inspired me. You should check it out here. So I decided some things I would like to get behind doing.

1. Go Skydiving.
2. Travel to India.
3. Watch all the movies on AFI's top 100 Movie list.
4. Go to the top of the Sears Tower.
5. Write an entire sketch show.
6. Participate in a triatholon.
7. Have a Brown Line Pub Crawl.
8. Go to Medieval Times.
9. Take a VoiceOver Class.
10. Hike up a mountain.
11. Bake one thing. Pretty much anything.
12. Actually cook a dinner for friends.
13. Own a video camera (stole that from you Brandi)
14. Make a short movie with the video camera.
15. Work out everyday for one month.
16. Give a random person on the street $50 one day.
17. Walk up on an escalator that is going down in a crowded place.
18. See if it is possible to eat 3 burritos from Chipotle consecutively.
19. Get a massage from a professional masseuse.
20. Go on a hayride.
21. Go skiiing.
22. Read "Crime and Punishment".
23. Read "War and Peace".
24. Buy a plant for my apartment.
25. Hang up photos or art in my apartment.
26. Rent a trolley and go to bars around Chicago.
27. Go on the Architecture Tour of Chicago.
28. Volunteer to hand out water or Gatorade at a race.
29. Fly a kite.
30. Go to Six Flags Great America.
31. Attend a symphony.
32. Go to a Chicago Blackhawks game.
33. Attend a Chicago Fire game.
34. Eat at a restaurant in Chinatown.
35. Memorize a monologue to audition for things.
36. Have actual professional headhots taken.
37. Learn to play a musical intrument. ie. Guitar or Piano
38. Mail Christmas Cards one year with an ultra cheesy update letter.
39. Participate in a Poker Tournament. Not just one with friends...
40. Go to Atlantic City.
41. Vote in a local election.
42. Go to an auction.
43. Buy a piece of art.
44. Drive a motorcycle.
45. Own stock in something.
46. Update a blog daily for an entire month.
47. Attend a film festival.
48. Put together a 1,000 piece puzzle.

Okay there is a bunch...If I can do all these I'll be happy with that. And I may add more if I think of some.

Pet Peeve #11: Infrequent Bloggers

2009-04-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick of bloggers that never update their blogs. Seriously people, I have wasted enough time to type in your URL, the least you could do is write something for me to read. Some of these people go months without updating.

Bloggers that don't update their blogs are just really lazy people. It is sad how these lazy people intend to start something like a blog and you see them fail miserably every time. I really am over these lazy people.

It's one thing when a person is lazy and quits doing something that benefits themselves (exercising, dieting, starts smoking), but if you can't maintain a blog then you never should have given out your URL.

I'm disgusted with 95% of my friends that claim to maintain a blog, and in the future I am not going to be friends with such lazy people.

Pet Peeve #10: Weights on Licenses

2008-12-30T20:43:00.000-08:00

How lame is it when a person puts on their license that they are 117 lbs or 183 lbs?

Seriously people, just round your weight to the nearest 5. And if you are self-conscious round it down to the nearest 5.

Entry from My 7th Grade Class Journal #2

2008-12-21T11:26:00.000-08:00

Exactly 15 years ago today I wrote the following journal entry. I still remember when Mrs. Breidenbach assigned us to read Johnny Tremain. I never really liked the book very much. I'm pretty sure it was just supposed to get me and my class interested in the American Revolution. I suppose it is better than a boring history textbook. Here was my take on it at the age of 12.

(Please notes all grammar and spelling errors are as they were originally written.)

December 21, 1993

Dear Journal,

I am reading Johnny Tremain I think it is kind of sad when his hand gets crippled. In the beginning it was boring, in the middle it was good and it made me want to keep on reading now I'm close to the end and its starting to drag on. Things are going great for Johnny until one day he burns his hand and his palm grows attached to the thumb. When I was reading it and my mom told me to go to bed I took one of our flashlights and read until 12:00 A.M.

Pet Peeve #9: Enjoy

2008-12-19T12:44:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had to follow a recipe? Have you ever heard a recipe or project say you can bake/cook/prepare or do whatever in just 4 easy steps (the number of steps does not really matter). And then when you get to the 4th step it says:

Step 4) Enjoy!

I just want to say step 4, is lame. And whoever thinks its cute,clever, or anything besides annoying, probably is not my friend.

Happy Holidays.

This Sketch is Hilarious!

2008-10-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

I rarely laugh out loud when watching TV. But this skit on Saturday Night Live made me laugh so hard! Watch it. I promise you. It is quite funy. The first thirty seconds with Lawrence Welk talking are boring (because I know nothing about Lawrence Welk). But once it goes into the song get ready to crack up!! All the women are hilarious in this. Amy Poehler is funny as the married sister that keeps winking at the camera, but gosh Kristen Wiig could not be funnier. Please watch!

Entry From My 7th Grade Journal

2008-09-22T20:28:00.000-07:00

In 7th grade our teacher, Mrs Dalrymple, required us to keep a daily journal in our English class. Once in a while I will highlight these journal entries from 1993 on this here blog. All entries I decide to share will be exactly as they were written. Here it goes.

November 22

Dear Journal,

I am thankful for my family. I don't know where I'd be without them. Sometimes I am so busy I don't even remember to thank God for them. Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days. Most of the time I forget what this holiday is all about and I don't remember to thank God. He understands though. The things I am thankful for is living in a good home and school environment. Oh yeah, On Sunday last weekend all these cops were in my neighborhood. They told me a kid who was 18 stole a bottle of whiskey and had a knife. He

Then Mrs. Dalrymple had us put down our pens.

Pet Peeve #8: The following haircuts, always make my pet peeve list

2008-09-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been waiting to get your haircut, and you find that the man who is currently getting his haircut actually has almost no hair?

I'm just saying, that sometimes I feel bad for barbers and stylists who have to pretend they are cutting a person's hair for fifteen minutes, when the fact is they were finished cutting the person's hair in 2 minutes. When this happens everyone in line just has to keep waiting....

Also I just want say if you are a guy who is pretty much bald, I vote that you shave your head. You'll save your time, my time, your barber's time and soem cash, eventually. Then we will all win.

Poor Kelly Taylor: First burned in a fire, Now abandoned by her child's father

2008-09-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight on television is an event that none of us saw coming. We will find out the father to Kelly "I Choose Me" Taylor's child. All we know is that it is someone that she was involved with in high school. And let's be honest, there are quite a few options for who the father might be.

Most likely we all jump to the conclusion that the father is Dylan. In the series finale of Beverly Hills 90210 one of the last moments involves Kelly and Dylan deciding they will give their relationship another go ahead. Dylan seems to be the only option as far as father figures that would pretty much be non-existent in their children's life. Any other choice of the main characters would not work with the original "character delvelopment" created by the original series.

It can't be Brandon. Brenda would have already made a big deal about being Aunt Brenda already. Although i could see them revealing the father by having the child see Brenda and saying, "Hi Aunt Brenda", the writers of this show would think they were very clever. And so far it doesn't look like they have any interest in consistent character development. So although it wouldn't flow to have it be Brandon's child, these current writers would do just that.

Of course, here are some other options as to who is Kelly Taylor's baby daddy:

1. Seth Green - Come on don't you remember that horrible blind date Brenda and Kelly went on with the boys from "Princeton", not the real Princeton, the one that was "making young boys into men". Anyway Seth Green played Wayne, and he hasn't had much going for his career as of late.

2. Jake Hanson - This was the carpenter who made the altar for Jackie Taylor's wedding. And Besides if comes back I guess that means we will be getting an updated Melrose Place in no time as well. Sure, Grant Show, has Swingtown, but I don't imagine that show could last much longer.

3. John Sears - He took advantage of Kelly in her freshman yeah of high school when she was a ho-bag. We never actually saw this since the show began their junior year, and he didn't enter the show till freshman year of college. But the guy who played him got killed off of One Tree Hill, and like all of her other suitors he has very little going for him career-wise as of late. (besides, look at him these days, I doubt they are going to cast him)

Who do you think the dad will be?

Classic Countdown Moment

2008-09-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

A little background to the video clip, which I assure you is pretty much amazing!

When I resided in London for four months, my roommates and I developed a bit of an obsession. That obsession was a little show called 'Countdown'. Everday around 4:30 we'd take a break from the hectic life we were leading and watch Countdown. It is essentially the British 'Wheel of Fortune', but oh so much different and so much better. The winner of the episode wins a dictionary! Seriously that is the prize. I tried organizing a trip to see it filmed. I passed around a sign-up sheet and just about everyone on the MOLO-PRO (Missouri-London Program) signed up! Unfortunately, at that time most UK websites were pretty whack, and by the time I got in touch with someone about it, all tapings for the season had been completed

Here is how the game works: on a players turn they call out either 'consonant' or vowel. It is then both players job to see who can make the longest word, from the nine letters they are provided. Well, this has to be one of my favorite bloopers! Just look at what they have to unscramble! And better yet, check out what line of business the competitors are in (you can tell by their outfits).... Best game show ever.

To all who find the material offensive, get over it, it's kinda funny.

"My mom is cooler than me" - True Confessions, by Dorothy Zbornack

2008-09-05T06:34:00.000-07:00

I've said this a hundred times, but I really think it is true. The relationship dynamic between mother Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) and daughter Dorothy Zbornack (bea Arthur) on Golden Girls, is surprisingly similar to that of mother Mona Robinson (Katherine Helmond)and Angela Bower (Judith Light)on "Who's the Boss".

1. Mona and Sophia get more play and had more game than Judith Light or Bea Arthur ever would.

2. Both mothers have snappy put-downs and were well-aware that there is nothing cool about their daughter.

3. Bea and Judith would have been incredibly boring to watch without these cutting remarks that were aimed at them by their mother.

4. Both mothers were more stylish than their daughters.

Classic TV Clip of the Week

2008-09-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

Poor Cindy Walsh. Now that is a track jacket I would have been willing to lose. Watch this clip of the lamest TV mom ever to appear on television. She and daughter Brenda are practicing self-defense. I think her exclaiming "no" 7 times is absurd. I don't ever see her needing to say that to a man more than once. I loe how she really thinks she has accomplished something as she fights Brenda on to the couch. Of course by this time in the show CIndy was getting less and less screen time. This was probably the closest that she ever got to Emmy winning work, so savor it.

Once, Twice, Three Times the Moron

2008-08-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

I have a history of losing things. I am known for misplacing my backpack, all the time. I think Mel just called me out the other day that I was going to leave it behind. But more often than I have lost backpacks, I have lost coats. But I never thought I would lose a coat I had never even worn.

The first coat that I ever lost was in seventh grade. It was probably the first nice adult coat that I ever owned. I had it for a week at the most and then wore it to a mixer at Chaminade College Preparatory. When you walked in you would find a place to put your coat along the bleachers. This would lead to just piles of coats.

While we cut a rug to hits like Kriss Kross' "Jump" and Meatloaf's "Paradise By the Dashboard Light", there was no telling what was going on with our coats over in the pile. That night when I got home my mom knew right away that I had come home with a different coat. A coat that looked the exact same, but one that was much older, worn and stained. My mom said that whoever took my coat saw mine was newer and did this on purpose. (good thinking mom....)Could somebody find me the seventh grade boy that is searching through a pile of coats, at a mixer, in a dark gym attempting to find a brand new replica of their coat?

For years following this mixer, anytime that my parents would buy me a winter coat, I would be subject to a lecture that if I get this coat, I would have to be sure I wouldn't lose it.

This wasn't the only one I lost. I lost a few others along the way, so I am not real sure the lecture ever helped. There were the times I left fleeces in classrooms in high school and those seemed to get snatched up right away.

However, I had a perfect record in college. It's hard to believe but considering every party I went to and the random places I would stick my coat I never lost it. And even in bars these days, I am known to find a random corner or a good hiding spot that I will stick my coat in until the end of the night, and it's always there at the end.

But my worst offense happened yesterday. I got out of work before 8pm for once and I walked home down Michigan Ave. I went in to a store. I bought this jacket that I thought was awesome. It was ,as my friend Brandi likes to call it, a track jacket. All I have to say is I love it. I often buy jackets that are close to the same style and I was pumped about this one.

I only know that the jacket never made it home. In fact, I realized at work today that I did not remember bringing it home. So it's lost, most likely on the CTA. I knew all day that I must have lost it.

So if your CTA bus driver looks a little more stylish than usual in a brand new "track jacket", you have me to thank. Please give him my address as well, as I would like a thank you note for the gift.

Pet Peeve #5 and #6

2008-08-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

5. The person who stops the elevator doors at 8:30 in the morning when they could just wait 20 more seconds for the next elevator. If you are already running late, then why annoy everyone else? Sorry it's just annoying. I don't rush toward the elevators. In fact I tend to slow down when I see people getting in one, so I don't have to ride with them.

6. Co-workers that get really antsy when the internet in the office goes down. These types of people complain as though it is the end of the world that they will not be able to work for a little while. My advice to these way to anxious people: Take a minute to relax. It is nothing that you can change, and eventually things are going to be up and running. You work all day, spend the ten minutes the internet is down talking to a co-worker that you actually like. Quit acting like you are so bummed about it. A client can wait ten extra minutes for whatever you were sending them. Seriously, life is more about loving it than anything else.

(Please note Pet Peeve #6 does not apply to people that work from home. Under these circumstances it is likely Comcast's fault. Even if Comcast is not your service provider it is still Comcast's faul and will always be Comcast's fault. Under these circumstances please raise Comcast all hell.)

9021- OMG

2008-08-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

I have subscribed to Entertainment Weekly, ever since I have been out of college. That's going on six years now. We all know the magazine industry is hurting. I've really been debating this subscription for a while now. Why buy a magazine about entertainment news, sports news, or world news when you have it all at your fingertips online? And let's be honest those movie reviewers, they try so hard to sound so smart, describing things that no person, who just wants to know more about the movie, wants to hear about.

Last week, I received my last issue of Entertainment Weekly. I certainly didn't want to spend the price they were asking for another year's subscription. (Escpecially when I had gotten it for two years for all of $20 in the past.) There was a cardboard page on the outside of the magazine that informed me that my six year relationship with Entertainment Weekly had ended. I thought I could move on I thought it was over it, and then this:

I can't really talk about this right now because I have to head over to a newstand and buy this magazine at the cover price for probably $4.29 or something like that.

You got me Entertainment Weekly. You got me.

I am ready to negotiate another subscription.

I hope this curse sticks.

2008-08-27T11:52:00.001-07:00

"Dancing With the Has-Beens" has announced its line-up for the upcoming season. Of course its another attempt to acquire the most diverse group of has-beens that will appeal to as many people as possible.

I sort of loathe the show, and I find very few things more boring to watch than this. It's a waste of perfectly good network TV space.

You can pretty much see they try to get every demogrphic possible with their casting.

'All My Children' Susan Lucci (for women 40 and up and my friend Curt)

six times Grammy Award winner Toni Braxton

Olympic Gold medallists Maurice Greene and Misty May-Treanor

82-year-old Oscar winning actress Cloris Leachman ('The Last Picture Show'),

'Hannah Montana' star Cody Linley (for tennyboppers and my friend Brandi)

recently retired American football player and Superbowl Champion Warren Sapp

Former 'N SYNC member Lance Bass

actress and TV presenter Brooke Burke ( who got a friend of a friend of mine fired)

celebrity chef Rocco Dispirito

actress, model and reality TV star Kim Kardashian

comedian Jeffrey Ross

actor Ted McGinley

The key here is Ted McGinley though (pictured above). He may be able to single-handedly bring down the show. And here is why! You ever heard of the 'Ted McGinley Curse'? It's a well known fact that he is often brought on to shows the moment they start to lose steam and go down hill. Just check out his record:

Happy Days - (1974–1984), as Roger Phillips (1980-1984)
The Love Boat - (1977-1986), as Ashley "Ace" Covington Evans (1984-1986)
Dynasty - (1981–1989), as Clay Fallmont (1985-1987)

Notice he goes on the show when it starts to fail or as they say "Jump the Shark". The only exception for this is 'Married With Children". I just am sort of hoping he works that magic on "Dancing With the Has-Beens". If you do your thang, the show should be eradicated in no time.

I make my own fun.

2008-08-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just need to make your own fun. I think one of my favorite forwards that I ever received when I was in school in Kirksville, MO, was a list of fun things you could do at Wal-Mart to occupy your time. It lists a lot of things. Some of them are:

Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"

Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

I never actually did any of these things, but reading things like this make me wish I had been in a fraternity that had actually hazed, because these things are just funny to do and to talk about years later. Of course what lame type of fraternity is going to ask its pledges to do things at Wal-Mart? Only one that I would create, I suppose.

Well, I decided to make some of my own fun the other weekend. I was at a wedding and I was having an awesome time, but some friends and I wanted to get into a little trouble. It just so happened that the groom's father and brother were both in the military...Any military person should know not to just leave their uniform strewn about. Atleast that's what we thought. So the goal of the night turned into who could steal the jacket off the chairs and then put it on. Needless to say, I won! And now look at me, I am like a decorated war hero or something.

Let's just hope I can't get deported for this.

Say all you want, but "Loving It" was my idea

2008-08-21T06:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not the first person to ever say "loving it" but I have to admit that "loving it" was my trademark all through college. Every day walking to class or at any party when people asked me how I was doing, I would respond with "loving it". If I saw anyone or met anyone I would say to them "are you loving it?". If it was a first timer I was saying this to, they would respond with a glare and the question, "Loving what?". When asked this I was always disappointed and I would just tell them, "Loving life, duh?"

One year out of college, in 2004, McDonald's came out with a new campaign "I'm lovin' it". I am sure you are familiar. Well when that was announced, I received a massive flux of emails from old friends at college telling me that McDonald's was taking my trademark. I suppose this was legitimate and all, since I never got it copyrighted. Plus, if I had i would have kept the 'g' in loving. I have pretty good diction, ya know?

Anyway, I just want it on the record that I was "loving it" years before McDonald's ever did. And it's fine if McDonald's wants to take credit. But I wouldn't refuse a $5 Arch Card or something if McDonald's offered it...

The day Tori Spelling talked about me on National TV

2008-08-19T22:54:00.001-07:00

We all read the gossip blogs. I am just as guilty as anyone, I am sure. There's PerezHilton, D-Listed, thesuperficial, Gawker, and many more that you can name for yourself I am sure. For some of us that is all that we do at work all day. I used to have that luxury, or something close to that. My new job gives me very minimal time to do that, and to be honest I am appreciative.

You may or may not know, that I was a 90210 fan back in the day. So whenever they post news about one of the stars from that show, I have to read it. I just do. I skip a good majority of the other stuff. Quite frankly I don't know one thing about Audrina Partridge, except her name. I'm not bragging that I know nothing about 'The Hills', I'm not some lame-ass that has a 'hey day' by exclaiming I have more important things to do with my time than watch crap. I watch plenty of awful TV shows, but most of the people the gossip blogs talk, about I don't care about. But former 90210 stars always grab my attention.

Kristen and I first discussed Mimi LaRue back about 2 years ago. For the rest of the population that I am talking about, Mimi LaRue was Tori Spelling's dog. The dog cracked us up. It was always wearing some ridiculous outfit and a lot of the time was making some funny face. So one day Kristen and I spent about 20 minutes of our time making a Mimi LaRue MySpace page. We requested a few dogs to be our friends, and from there things went wild. People honestly friend requested Mimi LaRue like crazy.

I will be honest Kristen was responsible for much of this, she did upload all the pictures. These days we go on the site so rarely. Once every 4-6 months.

BUT...Seriously, the dog is more popular than I have ever been.

Sadly, Mimi LaRue passed away a couple of months ago. That is sad, so my heart goes out to you Miss Spelling.

So this weekend I received a text from my friend, L, that read "Tori just talked about Mimi LaRue's Myspace page. Famous." I talked to L, and she told me that she was referring to an episode of "Tori and Dean:Inn Love" that airs on the Oxygen Network. The episode running this weekend involved the passing of Mimi LaRue. At one point in the episode Tori is crying and tells her husband "She was famous, she even had a MySpace Page!"

So I just wanted to let you all know, when I turned 27, that is when I got famous and Tori Spelling started referring to me on national TV....It is also the year I found better things to do with my time.

In Memoriam:
myspace.com/msmimilarue.com

BLOG REVAMP GOES LIVE August 19th

2008-08-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Things go live on August 19th. On this day I will begin documenting my 27th year of life! Not sure how yet. But let's see. It's my foray into the upper 20's! Can you believe it? I'm no longer a young chap. My quarter-life crisis is over. So a documentation of life post-quarterlife crisis is in order!

STAY TUNED!

Blog Revamp

2008-07-31T08:25:00.000-07:00

This blog is getting revamped. The launch date for the new and improved blog is August 1st. On that date I will begin a blog that has a very distinct theme. I want to make it better than what I have been doing.

I want it to have a real theme. Over the next 24 hours I am going to figure out exactly what I want to do on here. This blog will be updated 5 of 7 days of the week over the next year.

Let me know what you'd like to see. What should the theme be?

Mcdonald's Dilemma

2008-07-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

Remember how mad I was when they took the 2 cheeseburger meal away from McDonalds? Well the following sometimes annoys me just as much!

McDonald's offers a $1 double cheeseburger at many of its locations.

However, a regular cheeseburger is $1.35 at those same locations.

Does this make sense? I once asked if I could have a double cheeseburger minus a patty and they said "no".

Of course, it feels wasteful to throw away a slab of beef for no reason.

I suppose that is just what I will do. My apologies in advance to all you vegetarians.

When Writing a Blog

2008-07-06T08:50:00.000-07:00

At the end of each blog you write, you can post labels at the bottom. You'll notice in my last blog it was the word "celebrity", and in the one before that, it was "eyes". Whenever you write a blog on blogspot, it says at the bottom, "labels for this post e.g. scooters, vacation, fall". I like that they've chose these as the examples. I thought I'd tell about my experience when I rode a scooter while on vacation, and I had a fall!

I was studying abroad in London for a semester. I used my Spring Break to travel through Italy with two of my friends.

I went to Rome, Italy in March of 2002. We rented Mo-peds. I had some serious trouble making turns. It was the whole leaning factor. I would lean too far and the moped would nearly fall to the ground. I will be honest I never really got a good grasp on driving that vehicle.

I drove on a busy roads and eventually one was a curved road with cars parked along the side. Before I knew it I was about to drive in to a car! I turned the front wheel, and of course i forgot about leaning into the turn. the front wheel was completely perpendicular to the back wheel. FYI, no bike can function like this. I got into an accident and completely scratched up the moped. Luckily I didn't hit the car that was right in front of me though.

This Italian woman stopped her car, and frantically ran over to me. She thought I was hurt much worse than I was. She is asking me all these questions in Italian and I am completely winded and cannot speak. I just call out to her "Anglaise! Anglaise!" She then chuckled and said in English"Oh you are American! Do you want me to call an ambulance?!"

I let her know I was fine.

Seriously, Ed McMahon....

2008-06-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

I just watched Al Roker interview Ed McMahon on the Today Show. For those of you that do not know, McMahon is facing foreclosure on his house. And somehow we are all supposed to care. He says all he wants to do is stay in his current home and he really wants someone to help him out.

McMahon talked about his multi-million dollar home and also mentioned how he "didn't sign a check for 50 years". Sorry McMahon, you seem like a nice guy, but good luck finding sympathy when you can't afford the payments on your multi-million dollar home. I don't know if you heard but there are one or two people in Iowa who lost all of their belongings and they may have actually been financially responsible and paid for their homes.

Sorry that you can't keep up with the rich folks in Hollywood, but I would bet there are some nice raches for sale in the San Fernando Valley or Chino, that you could afford. I'm sure a celebrity like you couldn't bear to live in such a place, but there are too many people in this world who are given much less than you. I can't possibly feel bad for you. Maybe you are unaware but there are still people in New Orleans that haven't gotten back on their feet since Katrina.

Again, you seem nice enough, but maybe you should fire the publicist that you are paying to set up your Today Show interviews and send out your story to the Associated Press. Atleast Tori Spelling had a garage sale when she ran out of money and didn't go asking us for help.

You are lower than Tori Spelling. I hope you are happy.

Rosin Eye Center Part 2

2008-06-17T14:25:00.000-07:00

What up!

The Rosin Eye Center is trying to get in touch with me like crazy. They really want me to schedule an appointment with them.

You may or may not recall the diffculty I had with them, they got mad at me for not purchasing eyeglasses from their establishment. tThen, they were incredibly rude when I told them I would buy contacts from somewhere else roo. In my opinion, they cared more about making a profit than my eyesight. A man who worked there, named Marky, tried to get me to buy glasses from him and when I didn't he was very rude to me.

If any of my friends have an eye doctor in the Chicago area that they would recommend please do not hesitate to provide me with that information. I would appreciate it.

Or maybe I should go back there, it might make for an interesting entry, and lord knows I haven't done one of those in months!

Peace.

A Really Interesting Blog

2008-06-16T21:07:00.001-07:00

Like many of us I occasionally look at the gossip blogs. Not because they are particularly awesome or exciting, but occasionally at work you have some free time and it's interesting to see the stupid things some of these celebrities are doing. Whether it be, TMZ, Perez Hilton or dlisted.com, its just stupid fun that can provide a little entertainment during the workday.

Apparently, Billy Bob Thornton was making statements about his ex-wife Angelina Jolie. I didn't even remember that they had been married. It's weird but I had forgotten exactly how strange I used to think that lady is. And now I recall that she is the one that kissed her brother a little too much at the Oscars, and she is the one who would wear a vial containing Billy Bob Thornton's blood when they were married.

I just sort of forgot how strange I used to think she was.

That's all. I have nothing else of interest to say.

The Internets

2008-06-15T00:15:00.001-07:00

What up! Holla y'all.

I am in Kansas City staying at Unity Hotel and Village Conference Center. Techinically it is in Lee's Summit. I am here at my friend Erin' wedding. So far it has been a fun time. There are two computers here and right now I am scaring two of Erin's cousins at the hotel by accusing them of "looking up porn on the internets". Ha it cracks me up every time I say that.

Anyway Unity Hotel is seriously like the compund in the show "Big Love" or something. Erin and her new man arent particularly religious but the ceremony and reception location is really religious, but dude, it is crazy. In the welcome booklet they offer free spiritual counseling. Which sort of cracks me and my friends up. There is a labyrinth which is just a pathway int he parking lot. We can't figure out what it is for, We can only figure it is for mediatation or something.

The manual for staying here has also warned us to look out for wild turkeys....Seriously have you ever heard of something happening to a person as a result of wild turkeys???

Her two cousins at the hotel here are playing "Runescape" and "Aventure Quest", some online games. At two in the morning. I tell you! These kids and their internets. They think they are cool or something, Kids nowadays!

Millinionaire Needs a Lady

2008-06-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

I've got nothing much today, but just thought I'd notify you of something cool.

Everyone knows that if you are looking for a quality person to date, the best place to go is Craig's List. My friend Maymee forwarded this to the Basic 8. It gave me a good laugh. Maybe you will chuckle as well!!!!! Or perhaps you will have found that special someone after reading this...

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/cle/628259611.html

To Blog or Not to Blog...it's a lame question.

2008-06-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hi Guys.

I will provide some pics tonight of exactly what I have been doing other than blogging over the past few weeks.

I've had a few moments I will be honest where I have strongly considered the discontinuation of this blog. Sometimes I just don't want to put too much out there online, you know? I mean my blog can't really be anonymous as the url is brianfinlay.blogspot.com....

I think that can certainly be a hindrance, don't you?

To my fellow bloggers: Do you ever find yourself not recording things, because you realize just about anyone in the world could read this...like bosses, exes, crushes?

Well, I'll have some pics tonight!

Until then as always, keep Loving It!

Cheers,
Brian

I should have opted for Verizon.

2008-05-13T13:57:00.001-07:00

I officially do not like AT&T, and it looks like I am stuck with them for the next two years.

I bought a phone about a month ago. I love the phone. Props to Samsung for making a great phone with the Blackjack II.

Of course AT&T, is making quite the profit. Seriously....$20 for some texts (those are my fault), but now I have unlimited, so that is good.

Next $40.40 for some phone upgrade fee... Why didn't they charge me for these when I bought the phone. I feel they don't give you this charge for a month, just so you don't feel like you are initially spending so much.

Lastly a $19.98 charge for some recurring program they claim I downloaded...I don't know how to do advanced things on my phone. So this last fee they said they would refund, but that it takes up to two billing cycles to refund it. They certainly don't take two billing cycles to charge me for things.

Anyway, my friends with Verizon are more often pleased with their service. If you are debating new service either stick with or go with Verizon.

Ditch AT&T as soon as you can. A $146.00 monthly bill is just stupid.

I Don't Know You But I Read Your Blog

2008-05-03T11:04:00.001-07:00

Hi, my name is Brian Finlay, and I have been a blalker for about a year.

What is a blalker you ask?

A blalker reads someone's blogs but either does not know the author, or is only peripherally friends with the blogger.

There are various people I know in Chicago but don't know well enough to even talk to. Yet I confess it, I read their blogs. Those people that I don't know but continue to update daily, keep doing so! For some reason I enjoy knowing what you are doing with your day.

I've discussed the blalking penomenon with a bunch of my friends and a ton of us do it, but of course we keep quiet when we see that blogger around town. We even have to act like we don't know information about the person that we might already know.

So there you have it, I am a blalker and you can't stop me...unless you make our blog privae, but what fun is that?

Are you a blalker? Why or why not?

...And you think your life is rough?

2008-04-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

I was reading on http://www.dlisted.com/ that Jennie Garth may be reprising her role as Kelly "I Choose Me" Taylor on that CW 90210 update. Dlisted made reference to Kelly's crazy life.

Look at the following she endured! (most courtesy of Wikipedia)

-difficult home life,

-sexually promiscuous freshman year of highschool

-date-raped

-using diet pills

-tricked into joining a cult

-quit the cult

-becoming addicted to cocaine

-endured being shot

-getting amnesia

-being raped

-shot the rapist

-going to rehab

-being stalked and almost killed by a patient from rehab

-breaking off two engagements

-becoming unexpectantly pregnant and having a miscarriage

-learning that she might not be able to have children

Why do you think she stayed so level-headed?

Special Scenes From HIMYM

2008-04-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

I have some friends that still have not begun watching what is the best sitcom on TV at present. Do I even have to mention that it is How I Met Your Mother? I thought I would post some classic clips from the show that just showcase how funny this show is!

Enjoy!

WATCH IT!

You Have A Head Start..If You Are Among The Very "Young at Heart"

2008-04-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

Last night I found free time in my schedule and traveled to the AMC River East Cinema. I caught a movie that I wanted to see ever since I attended Juno back in December. I saw a preview for a little documentary called Young At Heart.

Young at Heart is the sweetest and most touching film I have seen in ages. The film brings us to Northampton, Massachusetts and follows a chorus whose average age is 80 years old. This is not your average choir, as the chorus has attained notoriety most recently for singing songs by bands such as Cold Play, Sonic Youth, The Ramones and various others.

Each senior citizen highlighted during the film has their hardships, their aches, their pains. But being involved with something like the 'Young @ Heart' chorus they put all of those problems aside for a couple of hours each week. Many acknowledge that death may or may not be closer than they like, but the members of the chorus have lived and are still living very fulfilling lives.

When we are children we mention that when we are old, we will be one of those cool old people. And each of these people featured is in fact 'cool'. Having a hobby, something to look forward to, something you still put your heart into at the age of 25 or 85 is always important. Seeing the livelihood this chorus gives to each member is inspiring.

The only dislike I had of the film were the music videos featuring the senior citizens. They were a bit humorous but in my opinion a bit nonsensical. It may have been inserted to make the film run a tad longer...

However, the most touching part in the film comes at the end when a former cast member and the chorus sing 'Fix You' by Coldplay. Is this the most beautiful rendition of the song I have ever heard? From a technical stand point, not at all. From a living stand point, most assuredly.

The film may only be in Chicago through Thursday as it has a very limited release. Head over to the cineplex right away!

Original Album or Greatest Hits Compilation, What Do You Buy?

2008-04-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

A guy named Morgan once told me that I should never buy a greatest hits album or a single. He said that albums were made for a reason and they are the artists' ways of communicating a story. Morgan was alternative, punk-like, particularly smart and overall plain annoying.

Obviously, Morgan did not listen to the realm of pop-music that I generally enjoy. I don't think that he would try to convince me that there is a story inside of Britney Spears "Oops I Did it Again" Album. So buying a single from that album would be acceptable. Well I'm sure he would not approve of any Britney Spear single, but I'm just using this as an example.

But believe it or not, occasionally, I purchase respectable music that isn't just pop.

Sometimes there are artists I enjoy from prior decades who have a number of hits, and therefore they have a greatest hits album. I bought both Queen's Greatest Hits and Aerosmith's Greatest Hits years ago. I enjoyed both of these CD's tremendously in the past, but each time I bought these CDs I felt guilty that I was not purchasing the original album.

If I bought the original album, I wouldn't get ALL of the songs that I wanted but I would get a few. And maybe a few months later I could buy the other album. But that would cost more money, and I live in a society that wants immediate gratification, so getting all the songs I want all at once, is ideal.

There have been various albums I have bought where I found songs I loved, that are little known. I always take pleasure in that. And it might be interesting to see the evolution of an artist when you have a number of their albums.

So this all boils down to my desire to purchase some songs by 311, who I really enjoyed back in high school. They have all the songs I want on their greatest hits album, but I just don't like the idea of buying that. And I might find some gems I hadn't heard on their actual album.

What do you say? Greatest Hits or Original Albums, what do you generally choose?

The Real Cancun...

2008-04-21T07:27:00.000-07:00

I confused some people when I wrote that I was on Spring Break in an earlier blog...That was just a way to compose a quick blog and not have to explain why I never wrote any entries.

But currently I have the entire week off to do whatever I want! So I am on a real Spring Break now, with absolutely no worries about finding a job!

If you talk to me with any frequency, I have probably told you that I found a job! I found out on April 11th. This was awesome news! I'm particularly excited about it and I cannot wait to begin on April 28th.

The Highlight of My Day!

2008-04-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

You may or may not know, that I have been working as a data enter-er for the past couple of months. Entering application information, one after the other, makes you tired. It makes you very tired. Some days caffeine will not do the trick.

There have been rough days where my head nearly fell on to the keyboard several times in an hour. But that stopped about three weeks ago.

No, I didn't start taking drugs, and I didn't even start going to bed earlier.

I discovered the archives of radio psychologist Dr. Joy Browne.

I actually discovered Dr. Joy Browne in 1994.

I grew up listening to talk radio whenever I went to bed. I listened to Jim White on KMOX St. Louis every night. He was notorious for hanging up on many of his callers. He pegged himself as "the man who taught Rush Limbaugh everything he knows, but not everything I know."

Jim White's average listener must have been 70 ... as I found out about him from my grandma.

One night I decided to change the station, and I found Dr. Joy Browne. It was a pretty poor signal, and eventually my radio didn't pick her up and I figured that I would never listen to her again.

Recently, I thought about her and I found I could listen to her radio show every daythrough her radio's website, and I love it. Joy describes herself as "Frasier, but with better hair"!

She puts me in a better mood every day. She offers sound advice and her favorite piece of advice for callers is "smile and play dumb". Just another way of telling people to not sweat the small stuff.

I love that she asks callers to follow-up on the program with their progress. She genuinely cares about helping them.

I urge you to listen to this radio program as I find her charming and sympathetic personality brightens my day!

http://www.wor710.com/pages/46353.php

The End of a Much Needed Break!

2008-04-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

Spring Break has concluded.

During Spring Break, I received a phone call from Armani's company. It appears they still have interest in me even if I didn't meet his pre-requisites for the job.

Two interviews are scheduled for this week!

I look at a new apartment tomorrow!

The sun is shining!

Life is on the up and up and most assuredly the dice are rolling and I am LOVING IT!

Spring Break Baby!

2008-03-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

Loyal Readers!

Thanks for expressing your concern that there have been no entries this week.

It is my blog's one year anniversary and therefore I am deserving of such a break.

Until next week, please read the following blogs!

Amy Verdon shows off the adorable/cutesy/fantasy world she envisionsin the following:
http://namememaymee.blogspot.com

A crazy ride throught the life of my zany friend Brandi.
http://shotofbrandi.blogspot.com

Cousin Joe's attempt to convince people Nashville is cool...Good Luck, Cousin Joe!
http://realworldnashville.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Happy Easter!

Dice

Interviewing: 2 Out of 3 Ain't Bad...

2008-03-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

It's a second round interview at an advertising agency today. Yippee!

Woke up this morning, convinced I'd be running by Kinko's to print a copy of my resume. I look in my portfolio to see that I have extra copies with me. Perfect!

I am running a tad behind schedule too. I decide to take a cab. I told myself there's a $20 bill in my wallet. The cab costs me $14.45, I open my wallet. I have exactly $15.00, I ask the cab driver, if we could keep driving down the block to the ATM. He asks, "How much do you have in your wallet?"

I say "...Only $15."

He tells me, "It's no problem at all."

I apologize but he won't here of making me go to an ATM. How nice of him! The morning has started out pretty great! It's perfect things are going my way.

And then I head into an interview.

I meet with a man who we can just call Armani.

Armani glances at my resume, and mentions it looks like I have been working in events for some time. As with all interviews, I inform him that my skills are transferable and I explain why.

He further explains that I have never worked in a scientific and serious environment like this. I try to make him aware that i have attained the skills that are transferable to tackle a job like his. But, I can tell, the man wants me to leave.

The interview continues. The answers I provide him do not sway the decision he already made about my future at his company. He further explains that I have no experience with interactive advertising or direct mail (I am tempted to play dumb and tell him I am great with a postage stamp).

Learning while working at this position is a very foreign concept to Armani.

(Yes, I understand there might be better candidates, that know much more in this field, I get that and understand, but keep reading to see what happens next!)

Of course I still have one person left to meet (lets just call him Cliff). Armani says, "Let me go outside and see if Cliff can still meet with you. He's very busy."

This is odd because he could just call Cliff on the phone directly in front of us, like most people do in an interview. (If Cliff is so busy, Armani should not disturb him by impeding in his office.)

Armani returns and tells me something BIG has just happened on Cliff's account and Cliff cannot meet with me. Armani leads me to the lobby elevator, on the way he asks me if the weather has gotten any warmer.. .

Funny that he asks, because I could have sworn I felt a cold front a few seconds prior...

Needless to say I found out later I will not be getting hired there.

Dear Dice Letter #1

2008-03-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Dice,

I write to you because I am worried that I may have lost my sense of humor!

I have watched a good deal of television as of late and I do not laugh with the audience on the laugh track. I sat through two episodes of America's top ranked and favorite sitcom, Two and a Half Men starring Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer and I did not laugh once!

Is the humor just too smart for me?

Sincerely,
Laughless In Louisville

REPLY:

Dear Laughless in Louisville,

I understand your confusion. I must explain that most shows on network television are actually NOT funny. I understand the laugh track is confusing.

Let me explain:

You often hear laughter over things that no human being would actually laugh at. (Just watch any episode of According to Jim and you will know what I mean.)

TV executives believe if they use the laugh track enough you will begin believing the show is actually funny.

If it is something people would laugh at, you probably did, the first time you saw/heard it...during an episode of I Love Lucy, Cheers or All In the Family.

I hope I have helped you, if you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask!

Sincerely,
Dice

Pop Goes the Mother

2008-03-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

Is How I Met Your Mother recruiting pop stars?

First], Mandy Moore ]guest starred at the start of the season, now Britney Spears is set to have a guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother.

Surprisingly, I am happy with this for a few reasons.

How I Met Your Mother is one of the best sitcoms I have seen on television since Friends went off the air. The show is not perfect but it gets a lot of things right, many of the things sitcoms tend to lack.

I find myself laughing out loud at this show almost every time I watch it. The show creates very likable characters and the premise allows for overdone situations to come off as fresh, smart and new.

As this is one of the best sitcoms on television I want it to be on the air for a few more years. I am not who loves stunt casting. (Just watch any episode of Will and Grace during its later seasons and you'll know why.)

However, I think this stunt casting will help viewership. As the show is not in danger of cancellation it is still not a staple in many people's television diet. I think once people see an episode they will see all the rage over this show. So if Britney attracts more viewers, while the show keeps its smart and hilarious style, I am all for it.

Take the time to watch this show when it airs on Monday at 7 pm on CBS.

If you do not enjoy the show after two episodes, I will write a public apology to you on this blog. ..that will probably only be read by you and my loyal reader.

(Which really isn't any better than a hand-written personal apology, when you think about it.)

I still get a laugh from this.

2008-03-04T18:35:00.001-08:00

I saw this in a Waldenbooks in St. Louis years ago, I still get a chuckle whenever I think about it.

The book has been discontinued but you can buy it on Amazon for like $30.00.

How does something like this get through a publishing company?

Stand-Up (Comedy), Sit Down, Fight Fight Fight

2008-03-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

For the first time in my life, I performed stand-up comedy in front of people. Well...I performed stand-up, the rest of you can decide the comedy part

Sunday night, my weekend neared its end. I walked back to my apartment from a birthday celebration. While headed home. my friend, Drew, received a text from a friend. Schubas on Southport hosts an open mic comedy evening upstairs on Sundays. Drew was going to head over there to participate, he thought I might want to try it as well.

I did.

I assumed on such an evening the room would be pretty empty. When we walked upstairs at Schubas, the entire room was full of people. There was only standing room left. I started to feel nauseous. Everything I was going to say I had written on a piece of paper only a few minutes earlier.

Once there, I learned that the list of comics was very long and my name was close to the end. Every time a name was called I had to take a deep breath and feel relieved that my name was not being called yet. I couldn't enjoy any of the comics before me, because I was nervous. At least twelve times, I thought to myself "I need to walk out, and just go home".

I wanted to tell Drew that I had to be up early the next day and it was getting late.

I had a very long wait and I dealt with and contemplated these feelings for one-and-a-half to two hours. Now that is some anxiety!

But I stuck through it, Drew assured me I would do great. Which kept me level-headed. After all, this is something I have wanted to try my entire life, these are exactly the types of things I need to be trying when I am in Chicago, and I can't hold back at moments like this.

Right before my moments up on stage, one of the funniest people I have seen recently in the Chicago improv community was called onto the stage. This guy (Nick V.) actually had a one man show over at iO and I had heard he kills with his stand-up. Well he did. I barely enjoyed watching because I was still a nervous wreck.

But who cares, I knew I wasn't going to be the funniest thing these people had ever seen, I had never even practiced any of this before.

I went up there and threw out the things I knew had gotten laughs from my friends in the past. And it didn't bomb! It was awesome. I should clarify...the FEELING was Awesome! I was happy with myself for just trying it. It only lasted a few minutes, but anytime I was able to get a laugh out of people it felt awesome!

Some people bomb, some do great, and some just do so-so. But everyone there was rolling their own dice, and that's what we like to see.

A five year old stole quarters from me. REALLY!

2008-03-01T14:15:00.000-08:00

Interesting afternoon.

I met up with "the Nooch" earlier this afternoon to grab lunch and play shuffleboard. We went to Toons on Southport.

Sadly, to all of my fellow Truman State University friends, this does not compare to the Toons late night establishment in Kirksville , Missouri. (But then what does)

Once situated in the back room where the shuffle board was, four small children came rumbling in. (Their parents were in the front of the bar.) The children were typical kids, rambunctious and unable to sit still. Therefore, they played with the sand on the shuffle board, messed with the Golden Tee arcade game, and threw the cue ball around on the pool table.

These kids hovered over the shuffle board. They always stood on top of it while we played, when we slid the weights down they would watch very closely. I knew one of them aspired to interfere with the game. At one point the little girl started brushing all the sand off while we were playing. I told her to stop, and I really frightened her.

After playing one round of shuffle board Nooch left 4 quarters on the table. Well this five year old boy picked them up and took them. When we realized this, the children were sitting at their table eating lunch. We figured it wasn't a big deal and just let it go.

Moments later, the boy had finished his meal. The little boy and his sisters were running through the back room. Nooch asked him "Hey, can you give us back our quarters?" The little kid just stared at him and shook his head.

Too funny! This kid refused to give us our money back.

The waitress came in back and asked us if we needed anything. We told her the child had stolen our quarters and that we thought it was funny. (We didn't really expect anythign to be done about it.) She then asked the child for the quarters back, but he refused again.

The waitress did bring us four more quarters though, which was nice of her...

The boy and his sisters departed. I should have informed his parents about the crime wave their son executes across Chicago. But I didn't want to cause a scene.

The Search Continues.

2008-02-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

Interviewin' and what not, the search for full-time employment continues!

Just gotta keep having fun with it, right?

I've been entering data all week this week. To be honest the company I am working at treats us pretty great. I have learned the following so far.

1. If you thought you haven't needed a babysitter since fifth grade, then you will be surprized to find out you have one at the age of 26.

2. You know the scene in Wayne's World where Wayne opens the door to reveal all these martial artists performing routines...like in a James Bond film. I think we data enter-ers (is that a word) are supposed to just look like one of the war rooms in a movie like Michael Clayton.

3. Data entry turns out to be exactly what you would expect.

In a more interesting turn of events:

People who appear to be intelligent human beings but are unable to understand that their sole function is to enter the data and not question the data, turn out to also be exactly what you would expect.

Lyndsanity wanted the following topic...But I'm beating her to it.

2008-02-20T23:04:00.000-08:00

This evening I went with Lyndsanity and C to see Jesus Christ Superstar at the Cadillac Palace Theater. Wow, was it an evening to remember.

C had seen the show before and was a fan. Lyndsanity and myself being the musical fans that we are, agreed that we would like to see it as well. I will begin by saying I had a fun time attending and that I am glad I got to see it. I am always be willing to go see something I've never seen before.

Wow was this some show... I really do not know why this show was once popular. There is really very little to remember from it. The way the show is presented it makes it very impossible to take it seriously.

SPOILER WARNING (stop reading if you don't want to know any poignant plot lines):

At the end, Jesus Christ (the main character) is nailed to the cross and is resurrected. Once nailed to the cross he utters the well known quoations from the Bible and continually moans. Obviously being crucified is an extremely painful thing, any person wold be in pain, but it just didn't flow with the previous tone of the production.

So here is this serious moment in this play, and all I can think about is a scene from Austin Powers. Remember that part where Mustafa (Will Ferrel) falls through a trap door and continues to beg for help again and again, after more and more awful things happen to him, that's what was going through my head.

The production was incredibly cheesy. While Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat can get away with this, I don't think this production works for what I see as a more serious subject matter. Alo, in case you are unaware, much of the music is almost identical, just a change in the lyrics...

The production goes from some oddly happy song to a very serious song in mere seconds and never sets an overall steady tone. Seeing this show is odd and I don't recommend it to most.

I would love to tell you about the people who sat next to us, but I am leaving that to Lyndsanity. Let's hope she posts soon!!!

Chicago Checker Cab #432 and Improv

2008-02-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

To any friend of mine,

Just as a warning try to avoid Chicago Checker Cab #432. The driver is very likely blind. Which I believe is the reason he never went above 25 mph when he drove me home from Broadway and Lawrence this evening.

My Annoyance class just had its first show up there!

By the way friends, check out the Annoyance Theater, at 4830 N. Broadway, on Wednesday evenings for some Cheap Beer and Improv. The show only costs $2. I will be performing with my class. The show starts at 8pm. Please come out to the show and then I promise to anyone that attends and mentions this blog I will buy you a beer.

The show will be running on Wednesdays up until March 12th. PLEASE ATTEND!

What a boring blog...

Woman at the Museum

2008-02-12T14:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Museum Woman,

I will begin this letter with a very broad statement: The worst candidate for a job is someone who takes initiative and inquires about a position.

Thank you for reminding me of that.

"Museum Woman", you may recall, you sent an email to a friend of mine that said you were searching to fill a position, that I was pretty sure I would be ideal for. You mentioned in the email to just contact you directly. I sent an email to you and the next day I called you to follow up.

Thank you for chastising me for contacting you directly. When you sternly mentioned I shouldn't bother contacting you again, I was happy to learn your true colors so early.

I hope you continue to make people's days a little brighter as you have mine!

Cheers,
A job candidate who followed up...

An Actual Cover Letter I Sent

2008-02-11T17:04:00.000-08:00

I applied for a position at a large company, that must receive thousands of responses a day. It was suggested that applicants have an MBA. So I thought I'd give them the truth on what I think. The dice were truly rolled! Enjoy!

Subject: They Tried to Make Me Go To Grad School. I Said No, No, No!

Hello,

I am writing in regards to the Assistant Marketing Manager position at Sunstar Americas Inc.

Before you quickly disregard me for the position, because I do not have an MBA I hope you will truly look at the skills I posess and see how my career path has allowed me to gain a collection of very useful transferable skills that would be an asset to your company.

I could now state the various reasons why my skills would be terriffic for the opportunity at your company, but let's be honest you look at thousands of resumes and cover letters a day, so you probably already stopped reading this.

What can I say, you have all of the power here. Which is okay if you are you... I suppose this situation is just a tad unfortunate for myself, but your job and life will continue unaffected when you delete this email.

However, I'm just going to say this, if you desire a co-worker that you might actually like being around, well then I am the person that you should atleast bring in for an interview. So if you could do me a favor and check out my resume that I have attached, I would appreciate it.

I realize the chances of this happening are slim to none, and if I ever do hear anything back from Sunstar Americas Inc. it will be a generic response that was sent to every other candidate who has ever applied to your company.

Please feel free to contact me by phone at (773) 330-7567, by email at brianjosephfinlay@gmail.com, or on my pager at (773)....okay I am lying about the pager, would you really want to work with someone that had a pager after 1998?

I appreciate your time and hope you have an excellent day.

Thank you,

I'm boycotting your music

2008-02-10T22:41:00.001-08:00

Dear Ms. Sophie B. Hawkins,

In your hit song "As I Lay Me Down to Sleep", on which February morning did you wake up and it felt like springtime?

Cuz lately my February mornings have have had a -20 degree windchill factor.

It says you are from Manhattan on Wikipedia...Did your February mornings actually feel like springtime? You've obvioulsy never lived in Chicago. I understand you are just being "poetic", but I'm waiting for a morning that feels like spring.

Your songs are lies.

No wonder you have not had a hit song since 1995...

I'm done with you and your music....atleast until March 1st

Sincerely,
A Frustrated Fan

Sometimes the odds just are not in your favor...

2008-01-28T20:52:00.000-08:00

Only in my home state of Missouri! This story is too funny. Below is an example of some people that need to be more careful when rolling the dice...

Published: January 28, 2008
INDEPENDENCE, Mo. (AP) -- A woman who faked the birth of sextuplets to tap the generosity of neighbors was sentenced Monday to four years in prison for violating her probation.
Sarah Everson, 47, and her husband, Kris, 35, were living in the Kansas City suburb of Grain Valley in March 2006 when they made up the story.
Within days of the story appearing on the front of a newspaper, the couple acknowledged to reporters and police that it was a lie, saying they needed cash.
They were sentenced in August 2006 to four years of probation after each pleaded guilty to felony stealing by deceit. They were required to pay restitution of $3,661 and perform community service.
But warrants were issued after they failed to pay restitution and missed several probation violation hearings.
The whereabouts of Sarah Everson were unknown when her husband was sentenced last month to three years in prison. She was arrested a week later in Independence on outstanding warrants.

I hope these people were at least having triplets...the story doesn't even seem to specify whether or not the woman was actually pregnant. Of course, there are so many logistical reasons why this plan of faking sextuplets is the worst way to scheme to make money.

1. When people come over they would expect to see 6 babies, and most assuredly they'd want to see a picture of all 6, whose babies were they going to borrow?
2. You would have to buy six of everything, a giant SUV among other things....great way to save money.
3. Unless Mr. Furly is your landlord this isn't going to work....It completely reminds me of the Three's Company episode where Jack is posing as his cousin as well. He'd walk in the kitchen and put on a hat and MR. Furly (Don Knotts) would think he is a completely different person.

Of course there are some benefits aside from money to faking having sextuplets...(if you get away with it.)

1. When you get invited to a friend's lame improv show , saying you have to watch your six children will be the perfect excuse to get out of it.

Uh oh...I think I just gave my friends an idea....

When you roll the dice and make up an excuse to get out of something, what do you say you have to do?

Fahrenheit Wins Every Time

2008-01-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

For those friends of mine that keep requesting more frequent blog updates...below is what you get when I'm just not inspired to write anything interesting.

It is so cold in Chicago. All anyone seems to be talking about is the weather.

I've never liked Celsius. Not one bit. Most other nations use it. (I typically like the metric system better than our system of feet, inches, etc. but just not when it comes to temperature) I know when I studied abroad in London, that the temperature was always relayed in terms of Celsius.

I like to think our usage of Fahrenheit make us Americans optimists. I'd much rather here it is 32 degrees Fahrenheit than ZERO degrees Celsius. It just sounds warmer.

Here are some interesting facts I just learned...

-40 Celsius and -40 Fahrenheit are the exact same temperature!

-Belize is one of the only other nations that uses Fahrenheit as well!

This One Time At Band Camp

2008-01-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

Second City Tour Co. Auditions are taking place this week. Chances are, if you are an improviser in the Chicago area then you are trying out. Hundreds of people actually audition, maybe even a thousand, but I honestly have no idea. Most people try out, just to try out, because many of us know we are not going to make it, but we might as well give it a shot. I realize that is a very defeatist attitude, but in these cases sometimes you have to be realistic.

The auditions began on Monday morning, which is when I tried out.

I walked into Piper's Alley, and went up the escalator to see a group of people that looked particularly miserable. I then went to the next floor because I assumed that floor had been converted to a hospital's trauma center waiting room. Alas, I had actually been on the correct floor, I just had not expected people pursuing comedy to look so sad.

It makes sense that people look unhappy, all of these people would love to make it on SC Tour Co. and this chance to show your skills off only last about 5 minutes. When you feel such pressure it is hard to look very comfortable, and perhaps even more difficult to improvise.

I checked in for the audition and before I knew it, it was my group's turn to go in. Here is a run down of how it works:

You enter the audition with about 11 other people. All of you stand up on stage, and first you must tell something interesting about yourself. (I assume this is just a tactic, to make the auditioners feel a little more comfortable and the auditors to get to know you a bit better.) the auditor then calls names and you have about thirty seconds to do a scene with someone else. After doing this for 5 - 10 minutes everyone was asked to leave the stage. After that two people at a time would be called up to do a scene and would be given a location.

For me I already began second guessing myself when I didn't think of anything clever to say about myself. My interesting fact was running the Chicago Marathon last year. (might as well tell them about "this one time at band camp") But let's be honest I now cannot remember even one thing any other person said, but I do recall many of them being pretty funny.

My thirty second scenes were nothing to brag about, and again I can't even remember them, and if I can't remember them that assures me the auditors would not.

My last scene took place at an airport check-in. It had the potential to be a great scene, but I was "in my head" as improvisers say. I tried to have fun with it, but was well-aware that I was auditioning for something the entire time.

I will say the group of people I got to try out with were really great! They all were experienced and did an excellent job, and everyone was particularly nice. I would bet at least one of them got called back. So congrats to them!

I don't mean to sound negative, because I am just happy I auditioned. You may or may not know I have a great fear of auditioning for anything. So I am pumped that I went through with the audition! I'm glad I tried out and I am happy to learn how this audition process worked.

The dice were rolled on Monday morning that is for sure. I was shooting craps, but I'm just glad I was shooting.

Remodeling of Sorts

2008-01-11T11:38:00.000-08:00

I made enough mistakes last year and I've learned plenty of lessons. Some I made note of on this very blog. Others I did not.

You may have noticed the new title of my blog, "Rolling The Dice". It is my intention to take various risks over the course of the year and report back about them, the successes and the failures.

Some of these things might actually be risky, while others might be pure fodder. Alas, I will continue to have some fun with this blogspot page. And I hope you will too.

So if there is anything you would like to see me do that you have always wanted to try yourself please suggest it, and if it is a valid suggestion I will do so.